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Egotism

Definition: Egotism is a person’s exaggerated sense of self-esteem or self-importance.

Symptoms: In sports, players find egocentricity unappealing, and if they judge you as a person “full of yourself,” they will not want to have anything to do with you. All sports do require strong self-esteem to play at peak performance, but if a player lets egotism rule, the emotional reaction to losing is bound to be one of devastation. Many players have quit because they don’t want their egos hurt.

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Solutions: The article, “Attractive and Effective Communication With People Who Have Big Egos,” by Michael Rooni, outlined here and found in its entirety at www.huffingtonpost.com, says that you may find it difficult to communicate with people who have big egos. However, here are ten important ways in which you can make your communications with them more attractive and effective.

1. Communicate issues and propositions, not personal attacks. Personal attacks will immediately push them into a defensive and confrontational mode and they will not be inclined to agree to anything you have to say. Even if you get them to look at a blue sky and tell them that the sky is blue, if you insult them, they will find a rainbow somewhere in the sky and will disagree with you. So, communicate your point, but don’t point fingers!

2. Make requests. Do not command or order them around. Make respectful requests and say, “Please…” or “I request…” Refrain from saying, “You must…” or “You need to…” or “You have to…”

3. Offer acknowledgments and gratitude. Before communicating any disagreement with them, seek to identify any of their conduct or statements that could be reasonable. Acknowledge said reasonableness. Once you have acknowledged that something that they have said or done is reasonable, they will have an easier time communicating to you that what you are saying or doing is reasonable as well. Say, “Thank you” any time they compromise or offer concessions, in order to encourage further concessions and compromises.

4. Communicate new facts or points. Do not try to force them to accept that they are wrong, negligent, or inconsistent. If you do, you will face a powerful resistance from their egos. So, instead of telling them that you are right and they are wrong, try to communicate any new and fresh facts or points that you did not previously communicate. In effect, when you communicate new facts or points, you will be creating a brand new proposition or offering which now they can use to “save face” and freely accept. Introducing new facts or points “unfinalizes” previous decisions made by them and creates a shift from an “ego-boxed-in” status to a “free-to-choose” status.

5. Offer an alternative. They may communicate firmly that they absolutely will not give you what you are requesting. However, they may be willing to give you something else that is equally important to you. Instead of “pushing” them into a situation in which they may appear weak and/or inconsistent if they give in to your request, you can instead pull them toward you by giving them a creative alternative to consider. Because alternatives actually create fresh new requests, they can now “save face” and accept your new request.

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6. Focus on solutions. Do not complain. For example, when you go to a store, you would ask the store employee for the one or two items that you do want. You would not itemize every item in the store that you do not want. Complaining to the store employee about how you do not like or want all the other non-desired items would obviously be a waste of time and would frustrate the store employee. So, communicate respectfully what it is that you want in a focused manner and avoid useless negativity.

7. Give compliments. Think about anything that you like about them and pay them compliments accordingly. Compliments will powerfully cushion big egos.

8. Invite them to participate. Ask them to share their thoughts and opinions with you. Moreover, communicate that their opinions are important. For example, you could say, “Because your opinions are important, I invite you to work with me to…”

9. Extend your cooperation. You might say, “How can I cooperate with you to make things better?” or “Is there anything I can do to positively move things forward?”

10. Do not boast or brag. Other than stroking your own ego, boasting or bragging does not make your communication more attractive or effective in any manner. Instead, it fuels them to prove you wrong.

PRACTICE www.powerwithwords.com

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Mental Health

Mental Health

Definition: According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental health is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and can make a contribution to his or her community.” Symptoms: Any athlete will tell you that sports are extremely mental. So much awareness has recently been given to the mental side of sports over the past ten years, that we are beginning to see how important the mental side of our lives is outside of sports. Perhaps we will begin to teach ourselves and our children that mental hygiene is now a critical element in living a healthy life as well as physical hygiene. Solutions: The article, “Ten Things You Can Do for Your Mental Health,” outlined here and found in its entirety at www.uhs.umich.edu.com, says that these tips for finding the right balance in your life have been adapted from the National Mental Health Association/National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare.
  1. Value yourself.
Treat yourself with kindness and respect and avoid self-criticism. Make time for your hobbies and favorite projects, or broaden your horizons. Do a daily crossword puzzle, plant a garden, take dance lessons, learn to play an instrument, or become fluent in another language.
  1. Take care of your body.
Taking care of yourself physically can improve your mental health. Be sure to eat nutritious meals, avoid cigarettes, drink plenty of water, exercise, and get enough sleep. Exercise helps to decrease depression and anxiety and to improve moods.
  1. Surround yourself with good people.
People with strong family or social connections are generally healthier than those who lack a support network. Make plans with supportive family members and friends or seek out activities where you can meet new people, such as a club, class, or support group.
  1. Give yourself.
Volunteer your time and energy to help someone else. You’ll feel good about doing something tangible to help someone in need — and it’s a great way to meet new people. FullOfLIfe.com
  1. Learn how to deal with stress.
Like it or not, stress is a part of life. Practice good coping skills by trying One-Minute Stress Strategies, doing Tai Chi, exercising, taking a nature walk, playing with your pet, or trying journal writing as a stress reducer. Also, remember to smile and see the humor in life. Research shows that laughter can boost your immune system, ease pain, relax your body, and reduce stress. To receive the complete POWER with WORDS lesson, Subscribe for FREE at www.powerwithwords.com

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